Stripping for feelings on blog

Two weeks ago I read a very interesting article in the papers about the phenomenon of blogs. The author of the article wandered how come people are willing to share their very intimate feelings with others. Well, I have no idea how this is possible either but I will share a few insights with you again.

I still owe you a post about my (work) trip to London - well - it was wonderful to be in the UK again. The moment I landed I realized how much I have missed it. I went there just for 3 days and I worked all the time. I managed to meet my Oxford friend Daniel Kleinberg for a short breakfast and to my great regret missed both Lena and Natalia, two friends of mine from Sweden who currently live in London. The trip was great but it was one of the last drops of the overfloating cups of my tiredness. For a month now I have been thinking wether to tell you about how knackered I am after the US, London, Poland last week and especially Pesach. I decided not to strip my tiredness and bore you with my breakdowns but - I am really really really - oh G-d how much I wish I had a week of normal sleep.

Anyway - next time I will be more cheerful.

Happy Pesach!

Exodus 14:21 "And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided."

Those that know to play, never grow old:-) Have a peaceful Pesach!

Aren´t the kids charming?

When I was applying for my current teaching job, it was not clear at the beginning, which ages I would teach. In the end as much as half of my classes are with elementary school (ages 6-11) Teaching such small kids is a challenge but also a lot of fun. The source of the fun is very often the fact that the kids simply say what they really think at the moment when the thought comes to their mind. If they think it is important, they just say it. After Kaja has informed me I had a mustache last Friday and Simon wandered if the white stuff in my hair was dandruff on Monday (see my previous post,) I thought there was very little that can surprise me more. Alas! I was wrong. Today, Sara(6 years old)came to me in the morning and huged me (as she often does before we start the morning prayer class.) Then she suddenly looked at my chest and said - "Gafna, you know what? You have really, really large brests." Well - awesome, that was sincere. Needless to say I took it as a compliment:-) However, guess I will think twice before I wear my today´s T shirt to school next time.

More quotes

I still owe you a post from my trip to London last week. But before I do it, let me post a couple of quotes from the last weeks:

"Have a safe trip to the US. And please, say hello to Gearge Bush for me." (Lukas, 9 years old)

"What a jerk!" (David´s honest exclaim when he learnt what king David did with Bat Sheva - 9 years old)

"Gafna, have you ever noticed that you have a mustache?" (Karel, 8 years old)

"Is the white stuff in your hair dandruff?" (Simon, 10 years old - it was actually hair gell - never mind.)

"I have read some Erich von Daniken recently and I cannot help it - God is an astronaut, I am possitive." (Kristina, 13 years old)

"I have no idea, who your God is, I think we should not leave Egypt, I am very happy here, I don´t mind being a slave and stop interrupting me when I speak for G-d´s sake!" (Adam during our drama class - 9 years old)

"Gafna, you look exhausted. You should drop your Masorti job. I am sure you earn enough in the school to buy your skirts." (Irena, my friend from school - skirts...?!)

She gmalani kol tov (who has bestowed to me all kindness)

Today in the shachrit service, I was honoured with the 7th alyiah (I was called to the 7th part of Torah reading.) This was the first time after I had come back from the States that I took part at an egalitarian minyan. Rabbi Hoffberg encouraged me to recite the Gomel, a blessing that we recite after coming back from a dangerous journey or after surviving a dangerous situation. I have always found it rather strange to thank for surviving a dangerous situation when nothing dangerous actually happened (which was the case of my US trip.) But I said the appropriate blessing and continued to follow the service.

Tonight, after the end of Shabbat, my father came with his car to pick me up in my flat to take me to my parents house, where I planned to spend the Sunday. We drove on a highway. At one point we came closer to a truck. My father started to overtake the truck in the left line. All of a sudden, the driver in the car behind him started to speed up, which is the common way of idiot drivers in my country to tell the other people on the road "how dare you drive so slowly in MY very left line?" My father overtook the truck, went back to the right line and as the mad driver overtook us, my father gave him a quick blink with his lights to say "I don´t aprove of how you behave." At this point we all were driving at a 100 km/h speed. The other driver, at this point cca 20 in front of us, went back to our line and suddenly stopped his car in the middle of the road. I have seen such behavior in movies, but I didn´t know there existed idiots that did things like these in real life. My father stepped on the breaks and so did the truck behind him. Luckily, we managed to stop about a meter behind the car. In what seemed to be ages to me I waited for the hit of the truck from behind. All of a sudden the expected noise came from the right as the truck, obviously unable to stop with its weight and at this speed, decided to overtake our car from the other side and hit our wing mirror.

My father and the truck pulled to the side, got off, looked at each others cars, inspected the broken mirror, calmly said to each other "Oh boy, what an idiot," and went back to the cars. At this point my hands started to shake, but I said "Thanks God nothing serious happened, it could have been much worse." My father nodded in a strangely calm way and said "Yes, you are right. I will have to have the mirror changed." We saw that the driver of the other car stopped 200 meters in front of us and looked in our direction to see what happened. He never came closer to us, he just looked. My father started the engine and slowly moved ahead towards him. In what I now realize was fear, we decided not to stop to talk to him and drove on. As we were passing him, I saw how he hesitantly waived at our car.

Human mind works in a very weir way, we came home and only then fully realized what happened. For an hour we sat in the livingroom realizing that we could have been - God forbid - squashed in our car from both sides. We kept repeating how glad we were not to be dead. In the end we drank a shot of vodka and for the first time in my life I have to admit I felt it helped to release the preasure.

I dont understand why anybody would want to stop in the middle of the road like this. I dont get why anybody would want to put the lives of 3 other people and his own under such a danger. I don´t.

When I sat down to the computer now, I read the text of birkat ha-gomel again. It says: "Blessed are You O Lord our God ruler of the Universe, who bestows kindness on those who are committed, and who has bestowed to me all kindness." Perhaps it makes sense to thank God for His kindness when you are in a situation when something dangerous may happen and it actually doesn´t. It makes sense to say it even if you are not even close to it. It makes sense to thank for the fact that nothing happened. In a situation like the one tonight you realize that "nothing happened" is great and it is worth acknowledging.

Back from the States

I returned from the States and I am back in my Prague routine - including my traditional late night Motzei Shabbat which usually creates a huge sleeping deficit and completely ruins the rest on my week:-) The trip to the States was a very interesting experience - and I really mean it. Meeting my old friends, seeing American conservative communities, visiting JTS, talking for hours to Marcus and spending a lot of time with rabbi Hammerman and his wife Sharon gave me a lot of food for thought. It is always helpful to leave your world and have a little bit of an insight from the outside. Sometimes one has to go over the ocean to see a bit more clearly what is in front of ones nose at home. But anyway, let´s not be so serious especially today, on Purim.

Let me just share a couple of things I learnt during the trip.

1. I can fundraise - I had no idea that I could.
2. "No fat milk" tastes like dairy dish water, "no fat horse-raddish cheese" tastes like plastic with horse-raddish flavor.
3. JTS is not what I thought it was, but that´s ok, because I should not have thought what I thought.
4. After fundraising in Florida I realised that the idea that "everybody should have the same" that I learnt as a child growing up in a communist country is stuck in my head more than I thought.
5. I miss my American friends.
6. I am prejudiced about Americans. I am ashamed of it.
7. Brooklyn bridge is atually quite short.
8. Some buildings in the US are really tall.
9. American Jews are crazy about Chinese food. That´s funny.
10. Drunk American undergraduates behave the same way drunk British undergraduates do.

And a Purim bonus at the end. This is a picture my friend Jana and myself from today´s purim megilah reading and carnival - I did not know what to dress up like this year so I brushed up my university gown - I wish I could wear it more often:-):

A short report from New York

After a couple of days in New York I thought I would let you know that I am safe and sound. My fundraising trip has been going surprisingly well and I am very thankful for the contributions rabbi Hammerman and I have been able to collect so far. We shall see how it goes for the rest of the trip. As for the more joyful sides to my journey - I spent two delightful days with Marcus Lange, a friend who studies in the rabbinical program at JTS. Among other things he took me for a Judaica shopping trip to Brooklin (hey for the Heimishe Bakery in Borough Park) and helped me to pay my debt from my last New York visit and crossed the Brooklin bridge on foot with me. It was so freezing that the cold killed my camera and I have no pictures from this truly historic event. What a shame.

While I stayed in JTS, I met many of my friends from the Yeshiva, who either study there or date:-) the rabbinical students - Corey, Jenny, Melissa, Jeremy, Ben, Richard, Mike and some of the older students that studied at Machon Schechter last year. Today, I briefly met Seth Pertain, who kindly enough took a picture of the two of us for me to have a proof I am actually in New York. I am not sure this proves anything but I swear there is New York around the car.

Good news and leaving

On Friday night my brother revealed to me that after passing his BA exams on Thursday, he proposed to his girlfriend Olga and she - naturally :-) - agreed to marry him. That´s great news! The picture below shows them during their last year´s holiday in Croatia.


On another note - I am about to leave for the States today in the morning. I packed in rush so I guess I am leaving half of the things I need at home. In addition, the pre-departure time was so rushed that some of the things I need to take care of before I leave are still not done - for instance I will be marking some of the tests of my students on my way to the airport and sending them back with my brother. Well, I am the ultimate time manager, aint I:-)Well, at least I have something to laugh about. Ok - all being well I will write again from New York. Shavua tov

Another short update

Time flies. Incredible. I am going to the States in a week´s time. In the past couple of days, my 7th graders started to get all very sensitive and teenagy and puberty like and I am worried. On the other hand, my biggest troublemaker David K. calmed down and became the student I have always told him he can become - witty, challenging and simply good. I swiched to first names terms with the headmistress of the school. My brother passed a Russian language exam (miracle!). Shmil, my boss, has had a son born ( The brit is tomorrow.) My community and school has successfully survived a visit of the Presidents of Major Jewish organizations last week and I had my students over for a Tu bi-shvat seder today. Well, that´s about the most important news.

Short update

I haven´t been blogging that much recently - sorry. The end of term is always a bit busy. I had to write many evaluations for my students, write several tests...you know how these things are. Today, I just wanted to tell you that I have my US visa (yey!) and I bought a ticket to the States. I am leaving Prague on Feb 18th for NY and will be returning back home on March 1st, which should get me back on March 2nd (be´h). Schedule still to be anounced:-)

Kids´ minds II

I haven´t posted much in the past two weeks, sorry. The end of term is always a bit hectic in a school. To make it up for you, let me post a couple of quotes of my students from the past couple of days:

"You wrote in the evaluation that I am never satisfied with a simple answer and that I always want to know more. Is this good or bad?" (Karel, 7years old)

"I think it is better to have more gods than just one. For example the Egyptians had many gods. Also, they look great. They are mixtures of people and animals." (Karel, 7years old)

"I know you are not supposed to draw God. But is it allowed to have an image in your mind? (Karel, 7years old)

"Are you trying to tell me that you are not married yet?" (Domink, 9 years old)

"You shall not sex." (7th commandment according to Eva, 16 years old)

Lights and a TV

For some time now I haven´t been updating you on the progress of my moving in. Today, my father came to put up new lights we bought together 2 months ago in Ikea. Bit by bit my flat starts to look like a home. And - one more thing: my parents bought me a TV set. I was very angry at first but now - frankly - I cannot wait to swich it on for the first time. I managed to live without one for 7 months. Now it is the time to stop being brave and face the music. It should arrive on Tuesday or so. Yey!

Going to the States

I have just found out that I will be able to go to the States between 22nd February and 4th March for the Koach Kalah conference (the exact days are to be confirmed shortly.) During these couple of days, I will be visiting New York (shortly), Penn university, Florida (not sure where yet) and Baltimore. If you are around in these days, please let me know - perhaps we could meet up (or - if you are Jewish and would be interested, I could talk to your community about Jewish Europe - you know how much I like to do that when it comes to American Jews:-). I am sure that my schedule will be tight ...but still - going to the States isn´t something I do every
day and therefore I would love to use this opportunity to meet my American friends. So please, drop me a line.

A woman of valour who can find?

As my readers might remember, my flat is ...high up in the sky. This has a lot of advantages like a roof terrace, great view and a lot of fresh air. However, it naturally has many downsides. One of them is the difficulty with which one has to clean the windows...especially given that some of them do not open at all and have to be cleaned from the outer side. Sitting on the edge of the window sill and stretching yourself accross the window tens of meters above the ground when there is -5C outside is an achievement. Two days ago, I plucked up the courage and did it and survived. If you forget me saying so, I am very proud of myself:-)

And more very good news

My friend Tom Feeney and his girlfriend Elisabeth are engaged to be married next August. This indeed is very good news Mazal Tov! (The picture is from our trip to Blenheim Palace last summer. Tom is the second from the left.)

Sexual harassment and you

As my readers already know, my brother is a top ranking Czech PC specialist. He goes to work in a suit and a tie, spends days and night creating bank software of the utmost importance for my country and - quite understandably - gets a very good pay for his work. At the end of each day he goes home with his head full of PC troubles to solve and his PDA overloaded with tasks to work at during the night. This is what he came home with on Friday afternoon.

New year´s resolutions

As the year slowly comes to its end, I started to think about new year´s resolutions. Don´t worry, I will not start to give reasons why you should or shouldn´t make them or whether Jews should make them in January or at Rosh ha-Shana :-) – I just recently remembered Robert Fulghum´s book "From Beginning to End, the Rituals of Our Lives" that I liked when I was a teenager. In this book Fulghum describes his personal custom of new year´s resolutions: At the end of each year, he would write down a list of things he managed to do during the previous year. When he is done he heads the piece of paper with a title “My new year´s resolutions for...” and adds the previous year. I think it is an excellent idea. So here is my list:


My New Year´s Resolutions for 2006:

1. Learn to lain (read from the Torah).
2. Learn to be a synagogue gabai.
3. Return from Israel and settle back at home.
4. Buy a bed and furnish my new flat.
5. Find a decent job, which I would find meaningful.
6. Fix my favorite brown sweater, which has been torn for 2 years.
7. Read Virgina Woolf´s "To the Lighthouse."
8. Not to get married to a freak.

Great:-)

Two Holiday Videos

December has come and with December we fight the traditional Jewish fight - Christmas or Chanuka? Recently, I have seen two videos I thought I would share. The first one is
Lex Friedman´s I Wish We Were Done With Christmas, which is funny. The second one is Twas Chanukah Night, which is really scary. Enjoy!

The ups and downs of a life of an employed person

The last couple of weeks since the time I had come back to work after my flu have been rather ...unusual. I would never believe what 10 days of illness and staying in bed at home can do. Despite all the exhaustion and sleepless nights that my teaching causes, I found out I really like and need my job. I realized what a luxury it is to have something meaningful to do every day. Moreover, I found out that as much as the work draws huge amounts of energy from me, it loads a lot of energy into me too. It is a very possitive feeling. Now I have 2 more weeks ahead of me before the start of winter holidays. The two weeks will be full of Chanukah programs - we have prepared all kinds workshops for the kids including a Chanukah school sleepover with my 7th graders, which I hope should be fun and also a bit of more "get-to-know-that-Gafna -is-not-only-a-teacher-but-also-a-human-being" event. I shall let you know how it goes.

On the darker side of things, I have had a bit hard time in my Masorti job. Despite the fact that all the logistics part of my job and "making-sure-things-are happening-the-way-they-should-and-everyone-has-something-to-eat-and-drink" is going well, I have encountered two very painful cases in the community where Halakhah (Jewish religious law) and politics did not give way to a solution of a problem which seemed morally right. These were situations in which I felt painfully hopeless, helpless and lost. I have encountered a situation when I felt I did all I could to achieve something good and it all went down the drain. I wander if this is an inseparable part of an adult life too.

yeah, yeah, I know...

...I should write a post soon. And I will. And I mean it. Soon.